I have sat to write this blog post too many times to count. Starting to type but finding that I just don't have the words yet to finish. The day after tomorrow, we have a Kindergartener! We have had lots of time to prep and get mentally ready for this day that is quickly approaching. Standing strong that I am happy Cash is going to school and I am so excited for him to learn and meet new friends, I am beginning to waver. Today was our Orientation was his teacher, Mrs.Powell. We walked in hand in hand and as we approached the doors, I felt his hand squeeze tighter as he whispered that he was a little nervous and feeling shy. Truth be told I was feeling a bit nervous myself. Although the Mama can't admit that to her baby. I told him that it's ok to be nervous for new things and this was going to be so much fun. The smell of school as we approached his class started to hit me in waves. I honestly thought I may cry a bit before snapping myself back to reality that this was freaking orientation and that I knew this day was fast coming. We introduced ourselves to Mrs. Powell who is young and super sweet. We needed to fill out paperwork in the Cafeteria while the two of them chatted a bit. Upon returning, we found the two of them on the carpet rolling dice and chatting about dinosaurs. It seems that he has hit the jackpot and gotten a teacher with a love of dinosaurs like himself.
This blog was started two days before Cash was born and I cannot believe that in two days he will be a Kindergartener. Time flies. So a letter to my boy...
Dear Cash,
Tomorrow morning we embark on a new journey. Your journey. School is a big deal, no longer under my watchful eye your whole entire day. I have spent nearly everyday of your life with you for the last five and a half years. And while you may read this some day and find your Mom to be a sap, it's a big deal, for both of us. I am letting my heart, you, walk freely into the world all alone without me.
You are ready. And have been. For that I am thankful. You love learning and meet new people so easily. So much more outgoing than I ever was at five. I know that you will grow by leaps and bounds this year, possibly more than you have in your short five years. You will grow to be more independent. Feeling more secure in yourself. My hope is that you know that I will be right here. Waiting for you, to catch you if you fall or an ear to listen. Don't ever forget that. You are my boy, my first born and I love you more than you will ever know.
So tomorrow, I let go a little. Something that I don't do with ease. I just hope that the time I spent with you has prepared you in some small way to soar. I look at pictures of you from the last five years and can remember almost every single moment that was happening when the picture was captured.
I have been tough this whole time, saying that I am ready for you to go to school because you are. But tonight, the eve of Kindergarten, the tears are flowing. I love you so much Cash Henry. I know that you will do so well tomorrow and throughout your entire year. I am so proud of you for who you are. I will miss you terribly but I will be rewarded with your smiling face at the end of the school day, eager to tell me about your day.
I love you my sweet boy.
Love, Mom
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